To Hell and Back
by MH Fearless4Life
Summary: Day 30 The door slammed and echoed through the small and cold room. The air was stiff and it overcame with silence that replaced the former screams that pierced the air. Olivia is kidnapped. Will Elliot be able find her before it's too late? R&R!
1. To Hell and Back

** Chapter 1: Hell and Back**

_**Secluded spot**_

_**December 10th ,2009 **_

_**9:48pm**_

** Day 30**

The door slammed and echoed through the small and cold room. The air was stiff and it overcame with silence that replaced the former screams that pierced the air. Olivia felt like her heart was going to rip right out of her chest as she felt red crimson trickle down her black and blue legs. The smell of blood drifted up to her nose and it made Olivia sick although she felt no pain. She was numb to the senses that screamed at her to feel. She couldn't feel nothing. Her humanity was damaged by her captor as she was used as nothing but a punching bag and a sex doll from day 1.

Though she has been through hell and back, Olivia still held onto the glimmer of hope that flickered silently within her. She knew Elliot, Fin, Munch and Cragen would not give up on finding her and she hoped that they would be able to find the clues that she tried to leave behind to show where she was held.

Olivia slightly jumped as the door opened slowly and then she saw her captor walk in with a damp cloth and a warm bucket of water. He always came in after he raped her and cleaned her up. During the clean up, he was nicer than usual. Being gentle, he walked over to Olivia and went to un-cuff her. He gave her a warning look before doing so. When she was taken 30 days before, she tried to run and escape, but he caught her and she was punished severely. Scars that ran across her back and side constantly reminded her of what not to do. She had to survive and if she wanted to live, she had to at least oblige to his demands even though the Benson in her wanted to kill the bastard for what he did to her.

Olivia winced as her wrists were released. The cuffs left imprints on her wrists and she rubbed them to get back a sense of feeling. She sat up as he cleaned her face. She couldn't look into his eyes so she looked at the dull colored wall beyond him. She closed her eyes as she felt his hand glide closer and closer to her legs. She so bad wanted to kick him but she wouldn't put it past him to put her in a coma. Worst yet, in a coffin.

" You know, I don't want to hurt you. Your face is too pretty...and your body..." He said as he touched her golden toned face and rubbed her thigh. Olivia inched away. He tightened his strong grip on her.

" I want to make you mine.

" No." Olivia said firmly. She didn't want him touching her anymore. Her captor slapped her on the face.

" You can't say no to me, bitch. But because I am feeling chivalrous, I'll leave you alone." He said as he finished up cleaning in between her legs...just to unnerve Olivia. Olivia breathed a sigh of relief when he grabbed his things and left after cuffing her back up. At least he wasn't up in her face anymore.

**- - - - - -**

_**SVU precinct**_

_**9:43 pm**_

_**10 days later**_

Elliot looked at the empty desk in front of him. He denied having a temporary partner. He wasn't going to give up on finding his best friend, partner and girlfriend. They has started dating 2 weeks before she went missing. He had arrived at her apartment that fateful morning to find her door busted open and everything disarrayed. His heart was beating a hundred miles per hour thinking the worst and it came true as he found a little blood near her bed.

" Earth to Elliot. There is a package for you." Munch said as he plopped an envelope down on Elliot's desk. Elliot groaned and sat up to see the mail that laid on his cluttered desk. He looked at the front of it and saw that it has no return address. Feeling like someone was looking over his shoulders, he looked over it and saw Munch was being nosy. Elliot rolled his eyes.

" The hell man. There's such a thing called space. I need some." Elliot said before returning his attention back to the mail. Munch shook his head and went back to his seat after mumbling something about mail and government spies.

Elliot opened it up and read what it said. He pounded his desk really hard and cursed a string of profanity. The whole squad-room got quiet. Cragen came out of his office to see where the commotion came from.

" Stabler. In my office now." Cragen said in a tone of voice that meant business. Elliot grabbed the letter and went to the office.

Once in there, Cragen looked at him.

" What the hell is wrong with you? I'm in here trying to get more leads on finding Olivia and you are in there raising hell."

" Captain, I just got a letter from the son of a bitch who has her. He won't give her back until we have what he wants." Elliot said handing Cragen the letter. It took him a second to read over it.

" $500,000?!"

" Yes, and we don't have that money. I don't know how we are going to get it." Elliot said sliding into the chair. All he could think was if Olivia was okay. He wanted her back so bad.

" ....Okay, I'm going to talk to some people. Don't worry about this Elliot. Hopefully the next time that he calls, we might be able to get a trace on him. Even if we don't, we'll get Olivia back. I promise. I'll let you know everything as it comes. Now, Chief of D's want your statement for that Christi Daweson case, so go work on that." Cragen told the disheveled looking detective. Elliot nodded and walked out of the office. This was going to be a long day.

**- - - - - -**

_**December 21st ,2009**_

_**About 10:16 pm**_

Olivia shivered in the cold room. She could feel the goosebumps on her body as she tried to warm herself up. She has nothing on but a raggedy t-shirt and that was not enough to warm her body. She wished she knew how long it had been since she was kidnapped. She didn't know if Cragen and them were any closer to finding her.

" Shit..." Her captor slammed open the door to the room. He rushed quickly over to where Olivia was. He un-cuffed her and literally lifted her over his shoulder. Olivia screamed and tried to hit him as hard as she could, but he was stronger than her and it didn't hurt him.

" Let me go you son of a bitch!" Olivia yelled out as he hauled her out the door and into a white van that was covered in mud in different places. Her captor was frantic. Things were not going the way he planned. He was stupid to not use a phone that was untraceable. Now he had to do something drastic or else he would be going back to jail and he did not want that. Once he pushed Olivia into the back of the van, he forcefully handcuffed her and put duct tape over her mouth. Olivia kicked and screamed the whole time trying to get out of the van, but it was no use.

" Shut up bitch." Her captor seethed and then closed the back door and went to get into the drivers side. He slammed the car into drive and sped fast through the wooded area before getting on a main road. 5 minutes later, after he thought the coast was clear, he heard police sirens go off behind him. He couldn't risk it, so he drove faster and faster making the surrounding lights look like a blur.

Behind him in the back, Olivia knew it was the police looking for her. Little did she know that Elliot was in that car.

" This is the police. PULL OVER!" They said as they chased the white van.

" You know, it's over. You should just give up!" Olivia yelled out.

" Shut up bitch, just shut up. You know, this is all your fault." He growled and quickly turned to evade the cops but he accidentally ran off the bridge. Olivia screamed as it flipped over. Everything went black when it crashed to the bottom.

**- - - - - -**

Elliot just about jumped out of the moving car and screamed. " NO! OLIVIA!" He yelled out as he tried to see where the van had landed.

**A/N: Please review and tell me how it was! I'm trying to improve my writing skills, so I hope it is better!**


	2. Whisper

A/N: This chapter is based on a Evanescence song called Whisper. Also, hope yall had a safe and happy Christmas! XOXO Enjoy!

**Chapter 2: Whisper**

**11:06 pm**

_Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself_**  
**

Elliot finally got down to the bottom along with the paramedics. The white van was upside down and ignition fluid was slowly dripping out. Elliot was frightened at the thought that the van would catch on fire.

" Sir, you have to move out the way so we can get her out." One of the paramedics said to Elliot. Elliot just numbly moved out of the way.

" Olivia, honey, if you can hear me, you are going to be okay. We are going to get you out!" Elliot yelled over the ambulance sirens that screamed loudly into the cold December air.

_This truth drives me into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away  
If I will it all away_

- - - - - -

Olivia felt like she was floating in air and in the distant background, she could hear a loud noise and someone saying her name. All around her, she couldn't see nothing but darkness and it scared her. Unconsciousness came over her as the gasoline fumes and the pain in her legs became overbearing.

_Don't turn away  
(Don't give in to the pain)  
Don't try to hide  
(Though they're screaming your name)_

_Don't close your eyes  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
Don't turn out the light  
(Never sleep, never die) _

**- - - - - -**

Cragen, Munch and Fin came flying in after Elliot had called them to tell them what had just occurred. They were scared as hell seeing as Olivia was like family to them and it was very hard for them to hear something like this was happening to her.

They rushed over to where Elliot was.

" Elliot! What happened?" Fin asked. The sight in front of them was horrifying as they saw paramedics and firefighters trying to get Olivia out.

" The son of a bitch handcuffed Olivia to the back of the van and swerved off of the railing while we was chasing him." Elliot seethed. He looked over at the man who had hurt his Olivia. Olivia's captor was hurt but not seriously hurt and he was being tended to. Cragen got out his cell phone to call his friend at another precinct to ask if he could send out some officers to keep an eye on Olivia's captor when he was transferred to a hospital to be treated. They obviously couldn't do anything because they were there for Olivia.

If it was left up to him, Elliot would have been right next to Olivia holding her hand to let her know everything is going to be okay.

" I need a gurney!" A paramedic yelled out as they were able to get Olivia out. Once they got her on the gurney, Elliot ran over to them.

" I'm riding with her." Elliot said. The paramedic nodded.

" Elliot, we will follow y'all." Cragen said and they ran to their car.

**- - - - - - -**

Elliot's hand was over his mouth as he watched the doctors try to revive the woman that he loved. A tear threatened to fall down his face.

_I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow I know that there's much more to come  
Immobilized by my fear  
And soon to be blinded by tears_

A doctor closed the blinds that he was looking into. He slowly walked over to the waiting room and saw the guys there. Fin came over and patted his shoulder.

" I know she will be fine man. She is a fighter."

" I know, but it is killing me that she is in here in the first place because of that bastard." Elliot said. He wanted to call Olivia's captor many other different vulgar names, but he saw a couple of children in the waiting room.

" Why don't you go home. Collect yourself and we'll call you if something changes." Cragen suggested.

" Thanks but no thanks, captain. I want to be here for her." Elliot said and sat down on a chair. He ran his fingers through his short hair. Cragen looked on at one of his best detectives with sad eyes. He knew how much Elliot loved Olivia and he could see how much this was hurting him.

_I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away  
If I will it all away _

The guys sat down realizing that this was going to be a long night.

**- - - - - - -**

**6 Hours later**

**December 22nd 5:13 am**

Elliot slowly opened his eyes from hearing his name to find Olivia's doctor standing near him.

" Huh? How long have you been waiting?" Elliot asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

" Not long, sir."

" Well, how is Olivia? Can I go see her?" Elliot asked standing up. The doctor slowly took off his cap. Elliot shook his head. He knew what that meant. He had seen doctors do that too many times to tell a person that their loved one didn't make it.

" Mr. Stabler..."

" No. Don't give me that BULLSHIT!" Elliot yelled out. Cragen, Munch and Fin quickly woke up.

" Whats going on?" Cragen asked getting up. Fin and Munch did the same.

" I'm sorry to break this news, but we wasn't able to save Olivia. I'm so sorry." The doctor said sadly. This was the worst part of his job.

" I can't take this. I need some air. " Elliot rushed out before any of them could say anything else.

_Don't turn away  
(Don't give in to the pain)  
Don't try to hide  
(Though they're screaming your name)_

Don't close your eyes  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
Don't turn out the light  
(Never sleep, never die) 

**- - - - - - **

**A/N: Two things. First is, please don't kill me over this chapter! I am going to do so much more with this story. Second, I am so sorry for the lateness. I have been trying to write this for almost two weeks....I wrote and re-wrote this chapter so many times to get it close to my liking. So hopefully you all like it! Please review! They tell me whether you want me to continue or not. Thanks to those who did review....and to the anonymous reviewer Elizabeth, thanks! Your review cracked me up :)**


	3. Want You To Be Happy

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! They made my day! Thanks again **_**Elizabeth**_** and thanks **_**Yasmin**_**, **_**Margarita123**_**, **_**Lila**_**, **_**Brandy**_**, and x8x**_**Krazee Benson Fanx8x! **_**Oh and one ****more thing. You should go read**_** (x8xKrazee Benson Fanx8x) **_**stories after you read this! She is an awesome writer!**_** Look in my reviews for her link :)  
**_

**P.S: I am skipping this chapter ahead 6 months. I promise that you will not hate me later. Maybe now, but not later. ****haha  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Want You To Be Happy**

**6 months later**

" Elliot! Open up man!" Fin banged on his friend's door. Upon not getting an answer after 10 knocks, Fin looked around for a spare key. He found one on top of the door frame. He shook his head. Elliot out of all people should know anybody could get into his house if he kept his keys where it was accessible. But of course, he wasn't much of himself lately.

" Elliot!.....damn! What the hell man." Fin said. He noticed a stench that waifed from his house. It was dark inside and the blinds was closed. Elliot was laying passed out on the couch in the living-room. Several bottles of liquor was on the nearby coffee table. Along with a picture of Olivia and him. Fin shook his head for the second time and opened up the blinds that let in a blinding amount of sunshine.

Elliot slightly stirred and just grunted before turning over so the sun wasn't shining in his face.

" Man. Get your ass up. This is getting ridiculous now." Fin shook Elliot. Elliot grunted again and waved his hand in the air to let Fin know to go away.

Fin rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen to get a cold bottle of water and found the refrigerator stuffed with packs of beer. Only one cold bottle of water was alone by itself in the bottom corner. Fin grabbed it and opened it up. He walked over to Elliot and poured the water over his face. Elliot shot right up.

" Damn it Fin!" Elliot yelled as he got up from his spot on his brown couch. Fin just laughed inside. He dared not laugh out loud if he didn't want his face to be sore.

" You need to get up and out of this house. You have been in here forever. We know that you miss Olivia but she would not want you to waste your life in this...." Fin started but was rudely cut off by Elliot.

" Don't you dare tell me what she would or wouldn't want. You didn't know her like I did." Elliot snapped. He was already mad at Fin for pouring the water on his face, but it was pissing him off that Fin was implying what Olivia wanted.

Fin sighed. He understood that the loss was still fresh to Elliot and it was with all of them, but he knew Olivia would slap Elliot upside his head if she knew he was sulking in his sadness.....6 months after.

" Okay man. I'm sorry. But you have got to clean up at least. You have been in here the whole weekend and I see you have been drinking a lot. To be honest, you are a mess." Fin reasoned with his friend. Elliot sighed and nodded.

" Fine. But don't ever pour water on me again." Elliot said and walked off. Fin chuckled.

" Okay."

**- - - - - -**

**June 6th **

**10:12pm**

**Local Bar**

Elliot sat in the bar with Fin, Munch and Elliot's other friend Keith who also worked with them. All but Elliot had a beer. Elliot had a water.

" Elliot. You should go talk to that girl over there. She is eying you. I know she's interested." Keith said. Elliot gave him a glare that said back down.

" Stabler. Olivia was a close friend to all of us. She would turn over in her grave if she knew how you are acting. The one thing she loved was to see you happy and you are over here acting stuck up. So if you really wanna know what she want, then go over and buy that girl a drink and start a conversation. You are acting like I am saying sleep with the girl." Keith fussed.

Elliot grumbled something under his breath but put on a happy face as he approached the brunette. She had medium hair and brown eyes. Looking just like Olivia. He still pasted a smile on his face and ordered the girl a drink.

**- - - - - -**

**Elliot's apartment**

**7am**

Elliot slowly opened his eyes in the morning when he went to stretch but felt a body laying next to his. A hand was sprawled on his bare chest.

Elliot looked around and identified the girl next to him as the girl from the night before. He racked his brain to remember her name... Julie?....no it was longer. It was Julianna. He remembered that she told him that she worked as a waitress at O'Mallory. Elliot closed his eyes and quietly cursed himself for sleeping with the girl. Little bits and pieces of memories were coming back from the night before and memories of him and Olivia making love before she was kidnapped. It was too much. He had to get up. Elliot tried to take Julianna's hand off of his chest without waking her but she stirred and opened up her eyes. She smiled.

" Hey." She said. She looked at him. From when they talked last night, Elliot knew she was a really nice girl and she had just went through the same thing Elliot went through. Her fiancée had died from cancer a year ago. Thats why he didn't want to hurt her but he couldn't lead her on either.

" Hey....um I gotta talk to you about something." Elliot said quietly. Julianna quietly eyed him to try to get a read off him, but she couldn't see anything. He was hard to read. Slowly noticing the seriousness of the situation, she sat up. She suddenly became aware that she was naked and the only thing that covered her was the bedsheets.

" What's wrong?" She asked him.

" I don't want to hurt you, but last night was not supposed to happen. I-I don't want to lead you on. You are such a nice person and I do like you, but to be honest, I'm not ready." He said. It was quiet for a minute before Julianna spoke up.

" What are you not ready for?" She asked covering herself up more.

" This. We shouldn't have had sex. I'm the same as you. I....I lost my girlfriend to a car crash after she was kidnapped. That was 6 months ago and I can't stop thinking about her. I'm so sorry Julianna." Elliot apologized.

Julianna got up with the sheets around her and went to the bathroom to change. Elliot sighed and ran his hands over his face. Julianna came out a few minutes later fully clothed with the sheet folded neatly. She placed it on the bed. She got on both knees in front of Elliot. She leaned forward to give him a hug.

" You know that I understand how it feels to loose a loved one. Henry was the love of my life and it was very hard to get over him. But he would want me to be happy and I really like you. I feel it in my heart although we just met each other last night. I obviously did not know Olivia, but wouldn't you agree she wants you to be happy? Honestly." Julianna asked. Elliot sighed and nodded. For some reason, since she knew what he was going through, she was able to get through with him.

" I'm going to go. I have to go to work in a few hours and I have to change. Elliot... You can call me anytime if you wanna talk okay?" She said before giving him a kiss on the cheek. She walked out and softly closed the door. Elliot closed his eyes and tried to recollect his thoughts. He knew what he had to do and if he was going to do it and get to work on time, he had to leave now.

Elliot had on his clothes in no time and he swiftly grabbed his keys before heading out the door.

**- - - - - - **

Arriving at a flower shop, Elliot got out of the car and walked inside. A man came out from the back upon hearing the front door bells ring.

" Hello sir. If there is anything that you need, then give me a call and I'll be there." The older man said. He went to the back again.

Elliot began to look around at the different arrangements of flowers. He decided to get 6 daisies, and a rose. He brought it up to the counter and called the man.

" Will that be all for you sir?" The man asked. Elliot nodded.

" Yes." He said as he gave the man his money. " Thanks." Elliot said and grabbed the flowers. He swiftly went back to his car and headed towards the place where he hadn't been in almost a year.

**- - - - - -**

Elliot parked his car across the street from the cemetery. He fiddled with the flowers in his hands and after a minute, he got out of his car. He walked over to the spot where Olivia peacefully laid. The grey concrete stone laid on the ground...and the grass started to grow again over the burial. As with everything else, it represented something so sad. And all it had on it was:

_'Beloved Daughter, Girlfriend and friend_

_Olivia Serena Benson_

_May 6th, 1967-December 22nd, 2009'_

He still couldn't believe that she was gone. He didn't even get to see her face before they put her to rest in the cold ground. He didn't know why he couldn't and he didn't even ask. He now wish he did. But he knew he couldn't dwindle on the past. It was now done.

Elliot placed Olivia's favorite flowers into the flower place holder next to the tomb stone. He looked up at the cloudy sky.

" I love you so much Olivia. I always have and always will." Elliot said. After a few more silent moments, he got up and slowly went back to his car. When he first came to the cemetery, it was cloudy but now, off in the distance, he could see a few rays of sunshine cast it's glimmer onto the ground. He smiled as he drove away.

**- - - - - -**

" Elliot, here you are. We missed you." Munch patted his shoulder.

" You've seen me at the bar." Elliot rolled his eyes as he put something in his drawer.

" Yeah but we haven't seen you here at work in a long time."

" Shut up Munch and let the man sit down before you bombard him." Fin rolled his eyes. Munch shook his head and went back to his paperwork.

" Sorry Elliot." Fin apologized on the behalf of Munch. Elliot shook his head.

" It's just Munch being Munch." He shrugged.

" Elliot. Can I see you?" Cragen asked from his office door. Elliot got up and walked over.

" Yes sir?" Elliot sat down in the chair opposite his boss.

" Have you seen Huang?" Cragen asked getting to the point because he noticed how Elliot had been acting over the past 6 months and he needed to make sure one of his best detectives was dealing okay with Olivia's death.

" I don't need to see a shrink, captain. I'm better." Elliot told Cragen. That very last thing on earth that Elliot wanted was to see a shrink. Huang was a great friend but he just didn't like the idea of head-shrinking somebody.

" As long as you promise me that you are okay, then I trust you." Cragen said. Elliot nodded.

" I promise." Elliot said.

" Okay. Well I need you to work with Fin on this case involving a shooting at a elementary school There is possibly a student shooter. Fin has the file, so get with him." Cragen said. Elliot nodded.

**- - - - - **

**1:45pm**

Elliot looked up at the sign of the diner. He walked inside and waited near the wall. The smell of the food was making his stomach growl. This might be his new favorite place to eat.

" May I get you a seat sir?" A waitress asked.

" No, ma'am. I'm waiting for somebody." Elliot replied kindly.

"Elliot?" Elliot heard his name behind him. Julianna smiled as she walked up to him. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

" Julianna. I agree with what you said this morning. Olivia would want me to be happy and I want to be happy with you. I want to give this a try." Elliot smiled giving her the red rose that he had saved for her. Julianna smiled widely. She accepted the rose and wrapped her arms around his neck.

" Me too." She gave him a kiss.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so love me? Hate me? Tell me your thoughts in the reviews! Thats what keeps the chapters coming!**


End file.
